Different
by Bad Mum
Summary: Pairings that never were, that never could be. But what if they were - what if things were different? For the Unusual Ship Bingo Challenge at the HP Fanfiction Challenges Forum.
1. Smiles (Remus-Narcissa)

**Different**

 **Smiles**

He is only eleven when his father tells him he can never marry or have children.

"I'm sorry," he says sadly. "Perhaps I shouldn't have told you so soon. But it isn't safe. Not with – what – who – you are. I thought I should tell you before you went to school and started looking at girls." Lyall Lupin swallows and will not look at his son. "As we all do," he said. "But – you can't. Not in that way."

Remus barely understands. He doesn't know any girls. He doesn't see how looking at them can be different from looking at boys. It is nearly the end of his first year at Hogwarts before he begins to see. She is tall and blonde, a sixth year, and the unloved cousin of his friend. She is part of a group of senior Slytherins; very sure of themselves, very loud, very happy.

"Why are you looking at her?" Sirius asks, when he notices Remus' gaze directed at Narcissa. "She's a bitch, like the rest of the women in my so-called family."

Remus colours.

"She's pretty," he says. "I like looking at her. She has a nice smile." He can't explain of course, that looking is all he can ever do' that he can't flirt as Sirius and James are already beginning to, that he won't ever have a girlfriend, let alone anything more. That explanation would lead down roads he isn't ready to travel. Not yet. Not even with his friends.

Years later, he is sitting at a table in Sirius' old home, at a meeting of the reconvened Order of the Phoenix. The girl opposite him is very young, and her hair is bubble gum pink. But she has a smile he remembers, a smile just like her aunt.


	2. Recognition (Gilderoy-Regulus)

**Recognition**

There were few who recognised my talent, who saw me for what I was. I told them what I would be and do, and I saw them smile or turn away. I saw them point and giggle as I passed them in the corridors. They were jealous. I did not let it bother me.

In my fifth year I met someone who saw my worth. He was older than me, a Slytherin in his final year at school. A Pureblood, already rumoured to be a follower of You Know Who. It was in my interests to make friends with such people, for it seemed in those days that their side was in the ascendant. Friends in high places were essential to someone with my ambitions.

But it was more than simple ambition that drew me to him. He was athletic, reasonably clever, good-looking in a very different way from myself, and not too popular. We met in different places – the Astronomy Tower, empty classrooms, once or twice outside by the lake, and our love making was sometimes frantic and hurried and sometimes languid and drawn out. His moods were unpredictable, and I found that exciting.

Our liaison was not widely known, but it pleased me, and I believe gave pleasure to him too. It was difficult to tell – there was always an air of quiet desperation in him, which I did not think was entirely due to his feelings of unworthiness when I was with him.

He ended our relationship before the end of the school year, telling me that he had merely been using me, and that my vanity had made it simple for him. It was a lie of course. He was not clever enough to have deceived me in such a way, and I was far from being vain. Any pride I had was well regulated, a result of my talents and achievements.

He was dead within months. It was rumoured that You Know Who had had him killed. I was glad then of the distance between us. I had my future to think of.


	3. Substitution (Rabastan-Bellatrix)

**Substitiution**

She was destined for me from our childhood, and we both knew it. Our parents planned our match in our childhood. As scions of two noble Pureblood families, families moreover with the same end in view, our match seemed almost inevitable.

But Bellatrix did not see it that way. She preferred my brother – taller, cleverer, better looking than I, my inferior in age only. She got her way of course; Bellatrix usually does. I was best man at their wedding, a smile on my face and the ring securely in my charge. I knew my duty, and once my father and hers had agreed to the substitution it _was_ my duty.

I still loved her. How could I help it? I believe there was some thought of offering me Andromeda as a kind of consolation prize, but I would not have considered it even if she had remained faithful. She would be a poor substitute for her sister.

I took a kind of comfort in knowing that, although she preferred my brother to me, Bellatrix did not love him. Her love was reserved for one only, and my brother knew it as well as I. Perhaps I came out best from the business after all.


	4. Experiment (Regulus-James)

**Experiment**

James is grabbed from behind, his arms pinned behind him and a hand over his mouth. He is bundled through a door into what can only be a broom cupboard. It is pitch dark, the smell is a mixture of disinfectant and damp, and his head strikes the corner of a shelf, causing him to swear loudly. His assailant mutters a silencing spell, and a second spell which fixes James' arms behind him. It is the first time he has spoken. James does not recognise the voice, but there is something in the tone which is familiar.

Before he can think of anything more, there are hands in his hair and a face close to his. He is kissed fiercely, the hands moving down from his hair to pull his body close to his attacker's. The body forced against his is hard and lean and smells familiarly of sandalwood, leather and aniseed. The kiss is prolonged and James struggles against it, but the spells hold him fast.

Eventually he is freed and the other boy steps back as far as he can in the limited space available.

"I wanted to see what my brother saw in you," a voice whispers, low and bitter. "I don't see it. I really don't."

He mutters the spell to free James' arms and restore his voice, but is gone before James can act, the door banging behind him. James is left alone in the dark.


	5. Mudblood (Lucius-Lily)

**Mudblood**

She tosses her head and her hair ripples around her, gloriously red. Her eyes gaze into his, green as grass. She is so young, so slim, so happy. So unlike the women of his own class. So unlike his wife. He reaches out for her and pulls her to himself and she responds willingly, fitting her body to his. Her mouth on his is sweet, her body soft against his.

Beside him, Narcissa shifts and turns over, jerking him awake, away from his dream.

He sits up abruptly, realising where he is. He does not even know the girl's name, but she has haunted his dreams since he saw her in Diagon Alley last week. He remembers a little girl with the same red hair being sorted into Gryffindor years ago. She was a Mudblood. Is it the same girl? He should not be dreaming of a Mudblood.

He lies back down and reaches for his wife.


	6. Neighbours (Arabella-Petunia)

**Neighbours**

Petunia sighs as she sees the familiar figure, the edges blurred by the patterned glass in the front door. Still she opens the door, a smile in place. It is what is expected of her.

Arabella Figg smiles at her. She holds her usual string bag filled with tins of cat food, her hat is crooked, and her coat is done up wrong. At least she is wearing shoes rather than her bedroom slippers.

"I bought Smarties for the boys, dear," she says, holding out two colourful tubes. "May I come in?"

Petunia sighs inwardly and steps back to let her in. She would much rather take the sweets from her to give to Dudley later and shut the door in her face, but people would talk.

"Of course," she says. "I'll put the kettle on."

They drink their tea as the boys play on the floor in front of them. Dudley eats his Smarties in two mouthfuls, and is eying the tube in Harry's hand, but Petunia cannot let him take them with Mrs Figg there. They make awkward stilted conversation, and she stays until Harry's sweets are gone.

She pats Petunia's arm as she gets up to leave.

"Good boys," she says. "Both of them. Don't forget, dear." Unexpectedly, she pecks the younger woman on the cheek.

Then she is gone. Petunia wonders how much she knows. Her cheek burns where Mrs Figg kissed her.


	7. Engaged (Cho-Pansy)

**Engaged**

"Well, look who it is." Pansy has lost none of her superciliousness in the years since she left school. "I hear congratulations are in order."

Cho recognises the voice, and has a moment to school her features into a polite smile before turning to face the other woman. Pansy is smiling in the superior way she always had. Her clothes are expensive, her make-up immaculate. In her mind's eye, Cho sees her smirking, an Inquisitorial Squad badge gleaming on her robes, as the DA's headquarters are raided. She sees her grinning in the stands with the other Slytherins as Harry reappears with Cedric's body. She sees her crowing defiance as she is led off to the dungeons with the other Slytherins as the final battle begins.

But years have passed. The war is over. She can afford to be polite, at least.

"Thank you," she says, extending her left hand to show the diamond ring she wears. "We are very happy. I hope you will be as happy one day."

Pansy's eyes are hooded, their expression hidden. She briefly touches Cho's hand before turning away.

But Cho hears what she says as she walks off. She is meant to.

"I thought you were pretty once. What a waste."


	8. Understanding (Sirius-Charlie)

**Understanding**

They eye each other across the table with interest. Everyone else there is at least somewhat familiar to them; they are new to each other.

Charlie wonders how you survive for twelve years without feeling the sun on your back or the wind in your hair. He does not think hatred would sustain him so long, even without Dementors in the picture.

Sirius regards him with a mixture of incomprehension and envy. Incomprehension of a life so different from what he had even imagined having, envy of a freedom he can never begin to understand.

After the meeting, they brush against each other by accident in the doorway. They stop, and exchange looks for a long moment, their bodies pressed closer together than is strictly necessary, each seeing the spark of incomprehension in the other's eyes turn to something else.

Neither sleeps well that night.


End file.
